blue & orange

Model: Kristen

Lex

A longing to dream
Collaboration w/ Alexis
*** All self portraits shot by Alexis
**** Edits+Words by me
Somewhere between Virginia and New Jersey

Follow me, follow me
Only if you dare
But, know this…
Don’t question
Just follow
Or you might
Just wander away
To where…
Nobody really knows
But, that too is an adventure
At least,
So I’ve heard
But, you see
There are some who
Don’t find their way back
I wouldn’t like to see you lost
So,
Follow me, follow me
But,
It is all up to you
We all have our roads
To follow here,
and everywhere between
Dreams and reality

it was never about letting go

* These photos were shot by myself and Abby
Models: Myself + Abby
** All the photos in this post set were
edited by me.
*** Somewhere in Philly

A year ago, I set out to one of our favorite cities around your anniversary. My thoughts were to find ways to let go while still trying to feel like I wasn’t letting go, if that makes any sense. ***It’s also crazy that it took me a year for me to finally feel good with all of these and setting the moods I feel like really captured the feelings I felt and yet, here we are, at the craziest timing. Of course, I feel like there’s some kind of meaning behind that, too.
I spent two nights and about 3 days there, walking around. Meeting people. Going to all of our favorite spots, finding random places to snag a few minutes of rest. I fell in love with the city all over and I never felt alone.
And it hit me, if I came out here to celebrate your life, to find a way to let go and still hold on — I started looking for new places. Going in my own directions, setting a new path. One of my own, but one that I know you’re still with me as I push forward.

Today is 4 years. I don’t miss you any less. I still can’t find the words, in which, I should be getting used to by now. I just always feel like there’s so much to say and I’m sure there is but, in the long run - does it matter much? I’m at a point where I know I’ll never not be sad but, I can do more with it and I plan to.
I can’t hold onto the sadness but, I can live for you and still do the things we always wanted to. I can still find inspiration in your words and from our conversations to keep me going in a better path. And, I think you’d want me to honor your life in taking chances and living my best life.

These were shot in a random place I stumbled into while wandering around between 2-4am in Philadelphia. The balloons represent a tattoo idea I still haven’t gotten. Also, ever since I was younger, at funerals, it became a personal thing for me to always get a balloon and write messages on it to let go and send away to the sky at the end. I wanted to do my thing while also be somehow being more into it, Abby came out to help and we decided I should be both taking photos and in them as well.
These photos mean a lot and I dont feel like I’m writing them any justice -or if I need to - but, I just wanted to take a second to throw it out there — you might not see or understand all the little things that made these images come to be, but there was a lot of thought and meaning into all of it.

This was our city, now I go there by myself - but, I’m never really alone when I’m there, just unknowing to what adventures await me.