Lex

A longing to dream
Collaboration w/ Alexis
*** All self portraits shot by Alexis
**** Edits+Words by me
Somewhere between Virginia and New Jersey

Follow me, follow me
Only if you dare
But, know this…
Don’t question
Just follow
Or you might
Just wander away
To where…
Nobody really knows
But, that too is an adventure
At least,
So I’ve heard
But, you see
There are some who
Don’t find their way back
I wouldn’t like to see you lost
So,
Follow me, follow me
But,
It is all up to you
We all have our roads
To follow here,
and everywhere between
Dreams and reality

i have no love

Somewhere lost in Philadelphia
Between the times of 12am - 4am

To the times where I feel like nothing that I do really means anything
or that none of it will ever really matter
and I need to just disappear - I feel at home alone and lost in cities with nowhere to go,
nowhere to be, no one to be. It’s some time after 2 in the morning and everything feels okay
where I’m just a ghost among a bunch of strangers just going about their lives.

Sometimes, it makes me see things clearly and other times — it just helps make those thoughts feel not so heavy — it’s okay to be lost.

And maybe, this does matter — Maybe, I just don’t know it. Maybe, I just can’t see it.

summer's over

Candid shots
shot @ Mount Olive, NJ

Being completely in the moment at the exact right time, it feels like such a rare thing.

Other times, you have to push for certain things to happen and sometimes, things happen to you too suddenly that push you to make the decisions you have to make.

I’m in another state of transition and I’m wondering what my next steps are and where I want to push things towards. But, in the extra time, I’ve been letting myself take in life little by little again. Finding joy in everything that I felt like I was starting to lose. I lost myself this year and a lot of it was in trying to make better choices that really just allowed myself back into complacency and it wore me back down.

I’m feeling like myself again with new experience to work with — actually, a lot more as I think back on now because too much has happened and I fell back face to face with the person I was trying to grow away from to begin with.

By this time next year, I want to find myself in a whole new place that I never thought I’d find myself and to be honest, — for the first time in a long time — I don’t feel like that’s too far off. I just have to keep reminding myself if the small things don’t work out how I see them right now that it’s still going to be fine.

I always end up where I need to be.

/ / / / / / / / / /

Model: Sharmila
Princeton, NJ

have you seen her?
the girl in the red dress

follow her down
the girl in the red dress

only if you dare
to question it all

because, the things that you think you know --
they're not at all the same in her world.

the girl in the red dress,
she'll draw you into the greens

she’ll draw you in —
to the dead of the woods

the girl in the red dress,
she's a dream, she's a nightmare

have you seen her?
the girl in the red dress

/ / / / / / / / / /

nos·tal·gic

adjective

1. 1.

   characterized by or exhibiting feelings of nostalgia.

   synonyms: wistful, evocative, longing/yearning/pining for the past, romantic, sentimental, emotional about the past, regretful, dewy-eyed, maudlin, homesick

It's funny how nothing changes but everything has.
Familiar faces become not so familiar.
Some songs will take on new meanings; while others will bring you right back into exact moments of forgotten memories.
Photos will always take you back and remind of the better things that you didn’t know you were missing.
Home begins to feel less and less like home but, you go visit old hometowns and places you spent endless days and nights in - just to have a different feeling loom over you as you wander around realizing how different everything is.
And, when the smiles begin to fade from the reminders — I wonder if I’ll ever feel those feelings again — if they’ll ever feel that impactful as they once did. I wonder if I’ll ever have friends like that again and if things will ever feel new again.