i have no love

Somewhere lost in Philadelphia
Between the times of 12am - 4am

To the times where I feel like nothing that I do really means anything
or that none of it will ever really matter
and I need to just disappear - I feel at home alone and lost in cities with nowhere to go,
nowhere to be, no one to be. It’s some time after 2 in the morning and everything feels okay
where I’m just a ghost among a bunch of strangers just going about their lives.

Sometimes, it makes me see things clearly and other times — it just helps make those thoughts feel not so heavy — it’s okay to be lost.

And maybe, this does matter — Maybe, I just don’t know it. Maybe, I just can’t see it.

train station thoughts

Somewhere in New Jersey.

I miss the smell of the city,
like I miss the sound of your voice,
like I miss those long cold nights in,
like I miss the warm days of summer,
like I miss sunsets on the roof,
like how much you can miss something, but begin to feel okay again.

The sky broke out into a million different colors and I saw everything so clearly.
It was in everything.
It was you, it was me.
Clarity came in a moment without thought.

I haven't felt so connected as I have in a long time; I won't give it a name, but I'm seeing so much more while I've been looking a whole lot less.