i have no love

Somewhere lost in Philadelphia
Between the times of 12am - 4am

To the times where I feel like nothing that I do really means anything
or that none of it will ever really matter
and I need to just disappear - I feel at home alone and lost in cities with nowhere to go,
nowhere to be, no one to be. It’s some time after 2 in the morning and everything feels okay
where I’m just a ghost among a bunch of strangers just going about their lives.

Sometimes, it makes me see things clearly and other times — it just helps make those thoughts feel not so heavy — it’s okay to be lost.

And maybe, this does matter — Maybe, I just don’t know it. Maybe, I just can’t see it.

summer's over

Candid shots
shot @ Mount Olive, NJ

Being completely in the moment at the exact right time, it feels like such a rare thing.

Other times, you have to push for certain things to happen and sometimes, things happen to you too suddenly that push you to make the decisions you have to make.

I’m in another state of transition and I’m wondering what my next steps are and where I want to push things towards. But, in the extra time, I’ve been letting myself take in life little by little again. Finding joy in everything that I felt like I was starting to lose. I lost myself this year and a lot of it was in trying to make better choices that really just allowed myself back into complacency and it wore me back down.

I’m feeling like myself again with new experience to work with — actually, a lot more as I think back on now because too much has happened and I fell back face to face with the person I was trying to grow away from to begin with.

By this time next year, I want to find myself in a whole new place that I never thought I’d find myself and to be honest, — for the first time in a long time — I don’t feel like that’s too far off. I just have to keep reminding myself if the small things don’t work out how I see them right now that it’s still going to be fine.

I always end up where I need to be.